The original program · file 12
Twelve steps.
One familiar cycle.
A compassionate progression from sealed precon to total philosophical replacement.
ACCEPTANCE
- 01
Admit you bought a precon.
Acceptance begins when the shrink wrap comes off. State the commander’s name clearly and place the receipt somewhere you will never examine it.
- 02
Promise you will not change much.
Establish the traditional boundary: ten cards, maybe twelve, and absolutely no reason to rebuild the mana base.
- 03
Remove the obviously bad cards.
With compassion and a labeled storage box, release the seven-mana sorcery that does nothing until your next upkeep.
- 04
Add staples you ‘already owned.’
No one needs to know when you acquired them. What matters is that they were spiritually present in your collection.
- 05
Discover the theme is not focused enough.
The deck contains artifacts, counters, tokens, voting, and one unexplained Kraken. A treatment plan begins to emerge.
- 06
Watch six deck-tech videos.
Receive six confident, mutually exclusive diagnoses. Open seventeen tabs and call this research.
- 07
Replace the commander.
Insist that the list remains the same deck despite changing its colors, curve, win condition, sleeves, and entire emotional center.
- 08
Upgrade the mana base ‘just a little more.’
Replace a tapped land. Feel immediate relief. Repeat until your lands require their own binder.
- 09
Remove fun cards for interaction.
Make the difficult but responsible cut. Keep the card beside the deck so it can still attend game night.
- 10
Realize the deck is too strong.
Observe the silence after your third consecutive win. Practice the healing phrase: ‘I may have misread the room.’
- 11
Keep the precon box.
The original packaging is now an archival object, a memory vessel, and something you will move between homes indefinitely.
- 12
Buy another precon and repeat.
Growth is not linear. Spoiler season arrives, a new legend speaks directly to you, and the work begins again.
Grant me the serenity to accept the cards I cannot change, the courage to cut the ones I should, and the wisdom to stop at 99.
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